Part 1: James Call

Where in Mr. Call discusses his potential as a dictator, the bad assness of Irises and Angels and his dislike of rambling pop ballads from the early-seventies

The very name James Call invokes an air of infamy deserved. What DO I know about him? Some of this is real. Some of it may not be: James Call was born sometime in the late 70's somewhere fancy in California. Once in elementary school he got hit on the head with a basketball and had a seizure. This is when everyone realized that he had epilepsy. He hasn't had a seizure in a while. His dad, Alex Call, was part of the band Clover and wrote that song "867-5309 (Jenny)." He's famous and shit. He has a wikipedia page and lives in Nashville. James hates talking about that. I met his mom. We visited her at The Pleasure Palace in Marin County where James grew up. She asked me out to karaoke and then the next morning kicked us out of her house. James's parents are divorced. James has a step dad. He is a lawyer of some kind. I think he is Armenian and has some ties to rebels in the governement. His step dad is insane, but makes a mean hummus! James is an only child, I think. Or at least he acts like one. He has some half-siblings somewhere in Nashville. He is part of the Mishap Collective, which is a long-time group made up of a lovable ragtag group of boys and oft ignored girls who still dream big. He has performed in many events that are linked to this lo-fi idea of crapcore (including several Mishap Proms, Science Fairs, etc). I know that James is a genius. I will not begrudge him that. He is an amazing comic artist with an encyclopedic knowledge of history. He is in his element when he is speaking about topics that he his informed on. Go ahead and ask him about an MTA strike or Mao. James was in a band called German Cars vs. American Homes. His current band is The Missing Teens. He also has a project called James Call and Erotic Photo Hunt. I have seen some incarnations of some of these bands play in several cities. He has a bog called "James Call: Expert." It is on the Internet. I am not sure what it about. He also answers questions asked of the dead Louisiana governor and U.S. senator Huey P. Long for the NOLA Defender, a play Internet newspaper. James loves his cats, Marcel and Cindy, deeply. He owns many military coats. Or maybe it is just that one I keep seeing him in. He likes to RELAX in lounge wear on the weekends and his days off work. He went to school for something and works for either the Port Authority or a Sports Authority. I am hoping it is the former, because i asked for a basketball and leg warmers from James for Christmas and have yet to see either. He lives in Astoria. He has no plan to ever leave NY, unless Paris will take him.

Enough about the past... let's talk about when I met James Call. When I think of him I can't help but think of that very first time. His legend did proceed him. He'd been on my ipod for months, compliments of fellow Mishap artist and childhood friend Adam Beebe. I'd spent countless roadtrips listening to James Call's Peter and the Wolf while Adam went on about James and the antics of Marin Country youth. I had often thought out loud, "I hope I never meet this guy." But holidays inevitably come, and people reluctantly return home to see their families. James's mother and step father still live at the Pleasure Palace, an epic display of too-much in Muir Beach. We met at a house party in Oakland. I remember him seeming sweet and authentic. I realize now he was probably intimidated by me and trying to calm me down. Years later on a subway ride home from a bar in Brooklyn, James told me that I was more of an extravert than him, and he had previously been the biggest extravert he knew. He told me that I scared him a little. That night I met him, I was pissed about life and a drug deal gone wrong. I was probably loud and brash and difficult to control. I was not sure how to act when I met the man from my ipod. Still that night in Oakland, all those years ago, as a mutual friend gave us a ride to the house we were all crashing at, James Call held my hand in the back seat of the car. I remember that. He's one of those people that others always say that annoying thing about..."oh, James? you'll either LOVE him or absolutely HATE him." I was, and still am, on the fence.

James is currently working on a new play called "Attaining Hawkman", writing a comic book about politics in hell and is planning an upcoming tour with his band, the Missing Teens.

Bio by Kathryn Myers Photos by Erin Melina Stamos

1. What is Chop Suey? Why does it not exist on contemporary chinese menus?

Ok, I'll admit I cheated and looked this up. But the answer was what I thought it was: a bunch of chopped up vegetables and meat, etc. You can have it with noodles too. I assume this was invented in America, and it's probably on Chinese menus because Chinese people figured out that most Americans like to make fun of the Chinese spoken language, and think everything sounds all "Ching chong ming mong," etc., and "Chop Suey" sounds funny and is therefore marketable. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

2. Where does the idea for Angels come from?

Well, angels were the original servants to God and it's important to remember that most angels

are not beautiful, white, creatures with harps living on fluffy clouds. Rather, they are terrifying creatures, often with flaming swords, that strike at people, wrestle unbelievers to death, etc. Probably the most notable Angels, to the extent they can be found in ostensibly monotheistic faiths, are bastardizations of popular Gods that converts to Judaism, Christianity, etc. just didn't want to quite give up. Angels, I repeat, are terrifying.

3. Do you think mankind will be here in 100 years? If not how will the apocalypse happen? If so what will it be like?

Oh yeah man, we'll definitely be around. I could see a nuclear holocaust droppin' at some point, but even though that'll wipe out most of life on Earth, mankind is very resilient, like the cockroach. Honestly if that doesn't happen in the next hundred years we won't really see an apocalypse per se, but we are going to see the shit hit the fan, very likely. There's a bit of a malthusian problem upon us and we haven't segued to a new energy source, when the ones we rely on - oil and coal - are so limited (oil sources are almost kaput given current levels of demand, and coal just isn't sustainable - the icecaps will melt and that isn't much worse than a nuclear apocalypse). I think eventually we'll figure out solar and wind, but probably not until the decline of America and all that portends. Still, if we make it through the century without the nukes droppin', over some stupid reason, I think mankind will probably be fine. And there is no God, so I wouldn't worry about the rapture or the Aztecs coming back to kill us in 2012 or whatever.

4. What does it mean if I dream about trying to make chocolate chip cookies but I keep confusing the baking soda with the baking powder?

Probably it's a symbolic dream that what you are trying to succeed at in life is being complicated by the many choices ahead of you, and you're losing focus. This might be something as mundane as figuring out what movers to use to move your apartment next week, but it could be something larger, maybe you're having a hard time figuring out what you want to "do" in life, as a career or whatnot, etc. In any event, it's a symbol that you're unfocused and need to limit your options and otherwise straigthen your life situation out.


5. Is it ever justified to kill an innocent person?

Define "innocence". Would you kill 1 innocent person if it would save 1,000 innocent people? That's the classic conundrum. To me, the answer is an absolute yes. Otherwise, you have 1,000 deaths on your hand. Damned if you do by 1, damned if you don't by 1,000. My ease in answering this question indicates that I would make a great dictator someday.

6. What's your favorite flower?

That's rough. I don't really know much about flowers. I think the begonia is pretty fab, and it's hard to fuck with a rose - classic and to the point. But maybe the most far out flower is the Iris. If I had to be reincarnated as a flower, I think I might be that one, or at least I'd wanna be that one.

7. Billy Joel or Elton John? Explain why.

Well Elton John is more balls-to-the-wall, as far as that genre of music goes, but Billy Joel wrote "For the Longest Time," which is a classic tune. On the other hand, he wrote the despicable "Piano Man," which is my 2nd least favorite song of all time (right after Don McLean's "Bye Bye Miss American Pie"). "Piano Man" makes me want to stab someone in the face, and while I don't get why Elton John is supposed to be as great as everyone says he is, I'm gonna have to roll with him for just having a bit more style and panache, and for "Benny and the Jets".

8. If you could date a woman who was part another animal what would it be? Why?

When you ask that question, are you saying the woman has the features of another animal, or the genetic traits of another animal? Because I wouldn't care for the hair, but a cat/woman hybrid would be pretty ideal from the cuddling perspective. I mean, cats love to be caressed, and men love to caress women, which is why woman are so often compared to cats. So I have to go with "the cat" for my animal choice. But the dog wouldn't be far behind, because a woman who follows you everywhere and plays fetch would be sort of awesome too. Either way, they'd only live 'til 18, 20 years max, which would be so sad (for a woman).

9. What is the most "lowly" form of culture you consume and why does it deserve more credit than it gets?

The obvious answer is comic books; comic books are generally regarded as trash, and most of them don't provide much more high drama or comedy than your average sitcom or television drama. But they are visually, and conceptually, way more stunning; things are possible in comic books that you just can't budget in a TV show. So I would argue that the modern superhero comic - which is marketed to a 30-something audience anyways, these days - is generally superior to anything you'll find on the television outside of HBO and the Animation Domination.

But comic books have some cred these days, so let me think of some other "trash" I consume which I personally consider high art on par with anything that, at least, comes out of Hollywood: the video game. The video game provides more than just simple narrative: it provides a basic excercize of the mind and, to some extent, the muscles. It forces you to think critically and at the same time it engages you in a fiction which, when well-done, is all-encompassing, like a good book or TV show. Sure, there are a lot of shitty video games - does anyone really need another first-person shooter where you blow up zombies? - but there are some that can be described as nothing less than cinematic. The Metroid Prime series in particular provides plenty of moments of raw terror, inspiring wonder at the scope of the world, and a sense of heroic triumph when you defeat some of the extremely challenging enemies, which are not "just there" for you to shoot, but play into a narrative that goes far beyond the basic mechanics of the game.

So, video games and comic books deserve a lot more credit than they get - and I'd say the average one of either delivers a lot more than your run-of-the-mill sitcom or crime drama, that's for sure.

10. I have a hard time making friends because I'm 27 and still look like a chubby little kid, you seem like a really popular guy, what is it about James Call that people are drawn to?

The James Call appeal, to the extent it works out, is the appeal of arrogance, not cool, distant, arrogance, but imperialistic, proactive arrogance. Anyone can have it. Just assert yourself and your particular worldview. Be angry, and manifest that anger in charm. Remember, no matter how chubby you may be, others around you are insipid, backwards thinkers, with limited goals and perspectives. Put things in perspective for them. Be merciless, not compassionate, yet at the same time, reach out to everyone, no matter who they are, and make them your friend - not by pandering them, but by welcoming them in the elite club you are forming to subjugate the Earth.